A bit late for a Halloween post, but what the hell…

Today was meant to be the perfect day. I woke up early, the sun was shining, I had plans to meet some friends. Just when I thought that nothing could go wrong, it all went wrong and hell broke loose.

I turned on the TV to get some news from CNN. What happened after that is completely blank, except for one thing, because it shocked me so badly and took all my brain capacity.

There was some report and then they were back in the studio talking about some random stuff. Oh yeah, it was Prince Charles’ new wife’s clothes.

Anyhow, I saw the most annoying thing. Even more annoying than “the annoying thing (aka Crazy Frog)”. It was Monita Rajpal.

Pointing out each of her annoyances would take a year to write, a month to read and ten years to understand completely, so I’ll just keep it simple with three annoyances:

• 1. Her smile. It is permanent, is she wearing a mask? Totally unnatural, totally disgusting. This gave me mini-seizures between 60-second intervals. MAD look-alike?
• 2. Her comments. Ok, those made me feel disgusted, really. Generic pretend-to-be-interested crap with fake-niceguy-accent like “Whoa, is that true?” “I can’t believe it” “Thank reporter x very much for that amazing extraordinary spectacular wonderful cool (…etc) report”.
• 3. 1+2=3, her smile and her comments combined make my third point. Think of someone giving you those lame comments with a lame accent wearing a MAD mask where the mouth is permanently smiling, times that by 2 and you get a feeling of what she is like.

You do not know what I am going through here writing this. She is the type of person who will make depressed people take the final step and kill themselves. Thinking about this back-itch (hint: remove “ack”) gives me a back-itch, you know this tingling feeling on the back of unrest. I hope a mad scientist travels back in time and gets a dinosaur to eat her up. I’d pay him with all I own.

I have this creepy feeling that I am going to have nightmares tonight. If I do, I hope you will suffer with me (after having seen her picture).

Oh, by the way. If you have nothing to do with your money and could absolutely not consider donating them to me, feel free to watch the new Zorro movie.

That’s all, I now have to try hard keeping myself from suicide.