I have looked at the stars and I know what is going to happen to you today. Hmm, not only you, but everyone who reads this.

Today, something will happen to you, grab your chance. You might find love, but if you make many mistakes today you might end up in trouble.

Dude, if you believe my prophecy, go seek help or something. Astrology sucks. I have just given an example of what some astrology can look like. It’s nothing but random generic crap where all might happen and nothing is for sure. It is as reliable as asking your 3 year old kid how kids are made.

Once when I was in the dentist waiting room, I was reading a magazine with a medium-fat-chick section, this woman who could talk to the dead. People were asking her questions like “Where have I put my keys?” and “Is my dead father looking upon me?“, her replies were really lame. Something like: “I am not sure where your keys are but I’m sure you have dropped them and will find them soon” and “You and your father are bonded together strongly, so naturally he would be watching over you.”

Lame.

I would have much better answers. An example of my betterness would be “The time you have spent writing this to me you could have spent searching for your keys or even gotten new ones, nice work!” and “No. Go seek a doctor.”

Astrology is the biggest scam of the 21st century (or maybe the church is), people who trust astrology should trust me instead. =)