What do you do when something totally random and fscked up happens to you? How random and fscked up?

Well, I was changing after working out. I put my shoes on the floor next to some dirt.

An old man comes. Average height, white hair, hanging titties, hanging stomach, balls bigger than dick, crooked back, finnish, poor Swedish. All naked.

Translation:
- Why do you have your shoes on the floor?
- Huh?
- Why shoes on floor? Look dirty now! (pointing at dirt oh the floor)
- It wasn’t me!
- Look it dirty now!
- What the fsck it wasn’t me, look at my shoes, do they look dirty?
- You see ground is dirty?
- But what the fsck it wasn’t me!
- Go clean it up
- What the fsck do you want?
- Do you want to be a human?
- … (???) it wasn’t me

Finally, he shut up. 1 min later when staff went by he told the staff “Look what he did!”. Old man goes tale-telling, bad. Luckily I did not get into trouble as the staff dude cleaned the floor just like a slave, good puppy.

Later when I went out of the gym he was standing outside watching me. He’s eyes kept following me. So I held up my index finger for him to look at until I was out of sight.

Owned. Go cry/have a heart attack/have a seizure.